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MELBOURNE,
Australia--Rajiv Kafle failed his School
Leaving Certificate and lost the balance
in his life. Without his school friends
and feeling like a failure he began to
take drugs. Twelve years later he is finally
clean, but he still bears the marks of
his addiction--he is now HIV positive.
A
slender and self-effacing man, Kafle is from
Kathmandu, Nepal where he still lives with
his parents and two sisters. Dressed in a bottle
green suit and looking extremely young--he's
28 years old--Kafle spoke about his battle
with drugs.
"I was a good child," he said. "In
school I was an average student--jack of all
trades, master in none. I enjoyed sports and
was a boy scout. I was very sensitive as a
child, though I was the only the son in the
family." Kafle is very close to his mother,
but he has not spoken to his father since an
argument 14 years ago, even though they live
in the same house.
"When I got my exam results I has failed
Nepali, my mother tongue, by one mark," he
said. " I lacked one mark and in the rest
of the subjects I got first division marks.
Because of that all my friends went in college
and I was with a group of failures."
During his repeat final year Kafle started
taking drugs. He began by smoking cigarettes
and marijuana, but gradually moved onto harder
drugs. By the time he graduated from school
and enrolled in an engineering program he was
taking codeine-based syrups, sleeping pills
and other tablets. Disinterested in studying
further, he dropped out of the program and
began part-time work with a Danish scout project.
"I wasn't working very much, but I was
earning a little money," he said. "My
mom gave me some money too."
This money paid for his drugs as he grew more
dependent. Finally in 1995, after his mother
convinced him, he entered a drug rehabilitation
center. Two months later he was asked to leave
the center because the authorities believed
he had been taking drugs on the sly. He says
he had stopped and remained clean all through
his time at the center.
"It was not true, but there was no way
of proving it," he said. "I was told
that either I had to leave or admit to taking
drugs. Since I hadn't I decided to leave, though
I didn't want to because I knew I had several
other problems."
Committed to staying clean Kafle began work
at a five-star hotel as a telephone operator.
Working and keeping busy, he stayed off drugs
for almost ten months. But then he relapsed.
"That's why I feel sometimes that it's
a disease, there's something in a drug addict," he
said. "The was something inside me--again
I fell back into drugs. There was family pressure,
they didn't trust me. I turned to drugs to
handle the pressure."
The
pills and codeine he had been taking were
hard to find,
he said. A friend told him about
an opiate based pain killer which was "much
better than the old drugs." This "better" drug
had to be injected and Kafle became an injecting
drug user.
Over the next year and half Kalfe was fully
focused on finding drugs and taking them. He
would take the pain killers as soon as he woke
up, requiring them to be functional for the
day.
"I quit my job after some time because
my first priority was finding drugs," he
said. "I was always late at work and I
had to leave the job. Things got worse and
worse and worse."
One evening he went out in search of drugs,
desperate to get a fix. He had always ensured
he used clean syringes, knowing that HIV existed
and affected injecting drug users. But that
day he didn't care about the disease, he just
needed drugs. And he took a chance.
In
1996 he decided that he would "finally
quit." He went to buy one last fix, for
old times sake. Luck wasn't with him and he
was arrested in a police raid. After 16 days
in custody he was told to either enter a rehab
center or go to jail. He chose the former and
reentered the rehab center.
"To get back into the center I had to
admit to taking drugs the last time I was there," he
said. "For three or four days I had to
wear a big sign that said "'Liar.'"
Kafle did well in the center and stopped taking
drugs. He studied German and started working
at the center while he was still a patient.
After a few months he got a high fever and
found lumps on his legs. The doctor could not
diagnose the problem and finally did a blood
test. Kafle tested positive for HIV.
"I was not really depressed when I was
diagnosed positive because I was reading spiritual
book," he said. "I coped with it
well. I knew about the disease because I had
taken a class about HIV before and it helped
me a lot to understand it."
It
was still hard to tell the family. His mother
had tried
time and again to help him,
supporting him in a society that ostracizes
drug addicts. It took Kafle a long time to
tell her, but when he finally did she was very
supportive and told him he would be fine. "She
told me that I would survive, that I shouldn't
worry about anything," he said.
A week after he found out about being positive
he also learned he had won a full scholarship
to study in Denmark for six months. He decided
to take the opportunity and go abroad.
"It was difficult because I was afraid
to talk about my status because of possible
discrimination," he said. But he told
his friends slowly and found a lot of support.
When he came back to Nepal Kafle began working
with the Asian Harm Reduction Network, a program
aimed at stopping the spread of HIV among injecting
drug users. Nepalese government policies do
not recognize the need to lower risks for injecting
drug users.
"There is only one syringe exchange program
in Kathmandu and one methadone maintenance
program," he said. "The government
is not supporting or recognizing either programs."
Methadone is a synthetic substitute for heroin,
available as pills. The maintenance program
is aimed at chronic drug users to lower their
use of syringes and thus of contracting and
spreading HIV.
"Abstinence is one thing," said
Kafle. "If I am a drug user who has never
been to a rehab center the first step would
be to do that. But chronic users who have been
in and out of rehab center--for these kind
of people they give methadone."
Kafle does not have AIDS yet, and he does
not think about being HIV-positive. His focus
is on getting the Nepalese government to recognize
the needs of injecting drug users and support
programs for them.
"Boys, drug addicts, are dying on the
streets," he said. "I want to start
a hospice for them."
One hospice, one needle exchange program and
one methadone maintenance program will not
be enough. The AHRN and people like Kafle will
have to continue battling the stigma that surrounds
injecting drug users. And putting pressure
on their governments to acknowledge the needs
of these addicts, who are perpetually at risk
of contracting another disease--this one deadlier
than drugs.
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